Britain's holiday ("vacation") season looms.
Are you considering hiring a narrowboat and venturing onto the UK's canal system?
Thousands of holidaymakers boat up and down the (usually) peaceful inland waterways every year.
Canal boats are simple in construction compared to some other crafts. But they still hold their secrets. Finding out the best boating techniques can be challenging.
The same can be said for the canals themselves.
They were constructed in a simple way so they were easy to use for the busy workers they were designed to aid.
But there are mechanisms and etiquette that the new boater can be unaware of until it's too late.
I've boated for decades and have more "engine hours" than most.
Join me as I reveal some of the deepest secrets you need to know.
I've lived close to Britain's inland waterways all my life. Our current house is a gentle, two-minute stroll from the canal.
Despite this, I never holidayed on the canals as a child. I'm not even sure that was really a thing back then. The closest I got was a couple of short trips arranged via school or parents, just an hour or two boating about.
That said, in the early 2000s, the opportunity came up for the family to embark on just such an adventure. Excitedly, we booked our first two-week trip.
None of us had much previous boating experience.
Children's dinghies at the seaside and rowing boats in parks were about as far as we had got from a helmsmanship point of view.
We decided to go down the boat-hiring route. After much deliberation, we settled on a narrowboat holiday company that had marinas up and down the country.
Our crew of five was to set off from a boatyard in the Midlands.
We would boat down towards London and, critically, hand the boat back in at the original yard precisely two weeks later.
A "There and Back Again" trip, then, Mr. Baggins.
We arrived at the marina nice and early.
An engineer presented a short course on locks and their use, then gave us a complete handover of the boat.
I, suddenly promoted to the rank of Skipper by my nervous family, set us going from the towpath under his watchful eye.
We made steady progress for a couple of hundred yards.
Our expert then clapped me soundly on the back and declared, "You'll do fine from now on; you can let me off here!"
I pulled back in towards the towpath, allowing the engineer to step off lightly. As I turned to wave and thank him, I was met with a cheery, "Your tunnel's just 'round the corner, then!" and he was gone.
Tunnel?
We knew there was one — we had studied our proposed route for days before the holiday started.
Tunnel? Now?
The Canal & River Trust describes our new friend thus:
Blisworth Tunnel, on the Grand Union Canal, is: 3,075 yards (2,811 metres) long. The longest wide, freely navigable tunnel in Europe (it's wide enough for two narrowboats to pass in opposite directions). The third-longest navigable canal tunnel in the UK, after Standedge and Dudley Tunnels. The ninth-longest canal tunnel in the world.
Right then.
There's lots to tell about those early narrow-boating adventures. More than we have time for here.
Suffice it to say that I now have "quite a few" engine hours under my belt.
I'd like to pass on a thought or two about what I've learned.
Over the last two years, I've taught a whole new crew — my partner and her little girl. They have joined me on new boating adventures.
This followed me not touching a tiller or windlass for a little while.
If, like my family, you're curious about navigating Britain's canals, I hope the following is at least a little helpful.
It took me two whole years to appreciate the usefulness of the middle line.
Ropes on boats are called lines unless they're attached to sails, in which case they are called sheets. Canal barges don't tend to have sails, so lines it is!
Lines are used at the forward and rear ends of the boat to moor up when stopping. However, the middle line, attached to the boat in roughly the centre of the roof, is handy for many operations.
Use it to steady the boat in locks. (With care — learn how to do this properly!)
Also, to hold the boat into the side temporarily, for instance, when putting on fresh water or waiting for a tunnel or lock.
I ignored its use almost entirely when I first started, but now I deploy it all the time.
Speaking of "middle lines," the British canal is usually not very deep. Its cross-section is roughly that of a saucer—deeper in the middle and shallower at the sides.
The exception is on bends in the waterway, where it tends to have been cut deeper on the outside edge of the curve.
Thus, unless passing boats or other obstacles, it is usually best to cruise in the centre of the waterway.
If you do have a boat coming towards you, don't forget that you pass each other port-side-to-port-side. (Imagine driving your car on a French road rather than a British one.)
If you overtake a moving boat going your way, you should pass them on their port side.
When meeting another boat, the rules of the water state that smaller craft must give way to larger ones.
If you pass each other going in opposite directions, the smaller boat will likely need to use a bit more power to maintain speed. This is because the larger vessel will have shifted more water backwards.
Never leave a windlass attached to a lock mechanism without you holding it.
If something slips, that chunk of metal could fly off at high speed and injure someone badly.
Or get lost in the canal, which is far more serious!
Steering is backwards. But you can't do it backwards. So there.
By this, I mean that the boat's rear, rather than the front, will move in the direction that you push the tiller.
Also, you only have steering of any kind when you have forward power going to the propeller. If you are idling or in reverse, you cannot steer with the rudder.
Travel as slowly as the boat can possibly go when passing other craft which are moored up.
One friend recently put it this way:
"No matter if the other boat looks like an abandoned wreck, imagine someone is standing inside it with a pan of boiling water — don't rock them!"
Never moor up at a winding hole.
This is a wide location on the canal, cut so that boats can make the equivalent of a "turn in the road" there. The wind assists in this, hence the name.
Don't moor up in or near to locks, bridges or tunnels.
If something goes wrong in a lock, shut off the flow of the lock water before you do anything else.
Put fresh water on every day. Canal-side taps are plentiful, and you don't have to pay extra to use them.
Raise your moveable fenders until you need them.
Use your headlight in tunnels. Please.
Also, before you enter a tunnel, turn on all the boat's interior lights and open the curtains.
The extra light will help you navigate the tunnel more effectively. Switch off that headlight as you leave the tunnel, though.
If the water at a lock is not "with you," please send someone to look ahead. Another boat could be approaching you, and it could use the lock water as it is.
If you need it to be full to enter it from your side, for instance, and it is currently empty, filling it yourself just because you're "in a hurry" is wasteful compared to allowing the oncoming boat to fill it as they actually use it.
If you get grounded in shallow water, move all crew (except the helmsman, clearly) and any significant heavy items to the end of the boat that is NOT grounded.
It should lift off in no time.
Check your bilge, engine oil and coolant, and stern gland greaser every morning.
That's EVERY morning.
Don't be afraid to run your engine to keep those batteries charged. You likely have enough diesel for weeks.
Remember, there are no brakes on a boat — to slow down or stop, put the engine to the opposite of the way you're moving.
Assume you'll need much more time to get anywhere than you think. Particularly if you have to return the boat to its owner on a specific day.
Things on the canal can take longer than you may have been told. It is wise to have your most pessimistic crew member work out your itinerary before setting off.
Don't be afraid to be a boat hirer rather than owner.
While some snobbery still exists, the canals are generally a friendly place full of happy and helpful fellow boaters.
A couple of years into my boating life, a boat owner with whom I had just shared a double lock turned to me at the helm of my very obvious hire boat.
He said, "Do you know the difference between you and me?"
In anticipation of a pithy, prejudiced criticism of my skills, appearance, clothing and anything else you can think of, I replied, "What?"
"The difference between you and me," the boat owner stated, "is that you know what you're doing. You've been trained. You were shown how to handle the boat before you set off, right?"
I nodded.
"Thing is, any fool can buy a boat and just set off cruising — I did. You handled that lock better than most people I know. Well done!"
The perfect canal breakfast is cider and Malted Milk biscuits. The perfect supper is good, dark rum. These are not matters for debate; they are points of fact.
As with most things in life, and those who know me well know what's coming next, "If you're rushing, you're doing it wrong!"
Life is slow on the canal and should feel relaxing. The balance lies between land and water, between nature and industry, between cruising and more technical activities.
Find that balance.
Hold the middle line.
With thanks to the late Messrs. Tolkien and Pirsig. Dedicated to boaters old, new and undecided, wherever you may be.