Why is it so hard to change?

Making a change often requires you to go against your natural inclinations. Inclinations that have often been groomed and nurtured for years in the past, in both your conscious and subconsciousness. Inclinations that you believe have saved you from feeling hurt and pain, and will save you in the future. You must tackle both your rationale and emotions, together.

To make true and long-lasting changes, both the emotional and rational sides of your brain must align. The psychologist, Jonathan Haidt, captures this struggle with his analogy of a rider riding atop an elephant. The smaller rider will only be able to steer and control the bigger elephant, just as long as the elephant is not resisting that direction. If the elephant does not align or want to comply, the rider will always lose to the desires of the elephant. The rider is the rational brain that knows what it wants to do, but the emotional brain, that is the elephant, needs to not resist the direction that the rational brain has decided. There has to be common consensus. Both the rational and emotional sides of the brain have to align and accept the change, for the change to become possible and lasting. Throughout this book, we will look to tackle both.