From Lilith to Psyche

My Experience as the Lilith Archetype

After one heartbreaking and character dismantling relationship, the whole foundation of my psyche was shaken up.

I lost sight of myself and as I wandered aimlessly, I sought refuge in the dark feminine qualities of Lilith.

I no longer wanted to be a victim of an underdeveloped masculine figure and I both feared and refused to become one ever again.

I took a vow with the goddess.

I mastered requirements of her devotion and how to healthily embody her energy whenever she was invoked. But as quickly as she was the solution to my heart aches, she just as rapidly became the reasoning behind my own overly masculine personality.

I sought dominance and independence in all relations. Charm and seduction soon became my only desire. What was once a tool for protection & survival, became my shadow.

I could hear the screams for softness crying out from within my own psyche, but with no clue how to engage with the lighter side of my feminine aspects, I remained a devotee to the goddess of darkness.

Then on one unexpected day, when I had just accepted a death bestowed on me by Aphrodite, Eros took the bow to himself and placed me in his palace. This lovely ending differs from the tale of Asclepius, as this time it was Eros took the lamp and discovered me and offered an opportunity of light.

The Myth

Lilith is recognized in Judaeo-Christian mythology as the first wife of Adam who refused to submit to her husband. Male dominated mythology detests her refusal and transformed her into a dark mother goddess of demons. However, her refusal to submit to her husband has also led her to be adopted as an optimal goddess figure who symbolizes women's sexual freedom, body autonomy , liberation and confidence.

At a time where I felt like I lacked in all of these qualities, I made the conscious decision to work closely with this goddess in order to embody her powerful and sensual feminine archetype. However what was once rewarding, soon became unfulfilling. I wanted to stray away from the dark feminine aspect I chose to mirror, but did not know what goddess I would then devote myself to during a time I sought change.

It was not until I read Erich Neumann's commentary on Apuleuis's tale Amor and Psyche, where I found a feminine figure I would idol on my altar and offer devotions to. Like the Greek mortal Psyche, I accepted by fate in the hands of a venegful Aphrodite. But also like Psyche as soon I accepted death, a male figure of love and desire came into my life. I finally was given an opportunity to engage in a soft feminine energy I was unfamiliar with, after engaging with Lilith for far too long.