(Theater buzzes with pre-show murmurs, programs rustle, lights dim.)
Person 1: (whispering eagerly) I heard they’ve got a Tony winner in the cast!
Person 2: (squinting at the program) Wait... her name is what!?
Person 3: (confused) What the @#!8 is a dramaturg?
(Spotlight shifts to a desk scattered with notes and books.)
(Lights fade. Curtain closes.)